kathryn (thisautumnheat) wrote,


Dear Nike,

You endorse a lot of players on the ATP tour. This is why it is so mind-boggling that it seems as though you only offer one men's sleeveless outfit design. I think I saw 5 players wearing either the blue or yellow shirt along with either the black or grey shorts, and 4 of those 5 players were playing against each other. I'd like to see some more variety in the future.


Dear Lacoste,

Excellent, excellent, excellent work on Santoro's polo. It was classy. It was colorful. It was striped. Andy Roddick's outfit needs a little work (although I realize he would probably never go for the jewel-toned polo), but I know you can pull it out.


Dear Ana Ivanovic,

You're hot. Even Dick Enberg thinks so. Your purple trapeze top and white tennis skirt were the highlight of women's fashion at the US Open for me. Great choices, especially in comparison to Venus's tennis skirt, under which I could see her labias majora and minora. You also don't wear annoying jewelry like the Williams sisters and Sharapova. I can't imagine that helps their game, and it looks trashy. Keep up the good work.

Dear James Blake,

Ugh. You are such an incredibly frustrating player to watch, but I just get such a good vibe from you, your family, and your fans, that it's impossible not to root for you. You give away your game tickets to your FANS. That's terrific. But if you could stop getting down on yourself and being bitchy, and instead be consistently awesome like I know you can be, I would really appreciate it. I am a known crier, but sports matches don't generally affect me. Yours today? I misted after you lost the tiebreak. I kind of misted when you had those 3 match points, and I also kind of misted when you won a point and you started jumping around a yelling "COME ON!" (like I said... crier). My neighbors probably think I have Tourette's because of all the clapping and screeching that happened during your match. And the sad thing is, I do believe that you can hear me, and every single other person who is sitting at home watching your match, shaking and sweating like a junkie in detox.

So come back. I know clay isn't your best surface, but I'm looking forward to the Australian.


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